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[taylor11]

There are some movies that don't surprise, particularly delight or even entertain but still leave you with little to complain. 'Love Breakup Zindagi' (LBZ) may seem like an excuse for a title by a lazy writer but it is just that kind of a movie. Unobjectionable yet not very appetizing. A bit like the relationship explored in the film. No adultery but no fizz either.
The film's lead pair is comfortably bored in their respective relationships. Delhi boy, Jai (Zayed Khan) plays tormented boyfriend to a girl who is a female dictator, and an extremely picky and fussy one at that. Yet his only complaint, "She's attractive, successful etc. But meri ghanti nahin baji!" This is Delhi-speak for, "I'm committed but I am still looking." Mumbai girl, Naina (Dia) on the other hand, has the most predictable boyfriend: career driven, successful and preoccupied enough to have no time for her.
So now you're thinking that Jai has to meet Naina and they have to realise how great they are for each other and this movie can end. Luckily, Jai's friend Arjun (Satyadeep Mishra) plans to get hitched with Naina's best friend, Gayatri (Auritra Ghosh) and opportunity presents itself.
Jai attends the week-long wedding with cocky sidekick Govind (Cyrus Sahukar) who supplies us with awkward humour and a breather from this predictable story. Govind's love angle with a family friend present at the wedding, Sheila (Tisca Chopra) turns out to be oddly cute and more endearing than the lead couple. Much naach-gaana, alcohol consumption and festivities later, Jai and Naina are shot back to reality as they go back to their partners. And as impossible as it seems for them to meet again, the inevitable is the inevitable. So if some pages of the script could've been fed to the dog, we could've left the screen without a power nap.
If clichés could be converted into money, LBZ would compete with the World Bank. Naina's mother's original advice at a moment of dichotomy is, "Wahi karo jo tumhara dil kehta hai!" Which basically means, ignore the other organs. Then we have Jai and Govind concluding a bitching session with, "Women! Can't live with them. Can't live without them!" I am sure we can live without this line. And if lines weren't enough, we have clichéd cures: ice cream for breakups.
Zayed and Dia cumulatively don't score a single point for their performances. Cyrus' unwarranted confidence comes from playing peculiar characters in the past and Tisca Chopra takes home the title of the 'most charming aunty'. Boman Irani's cameo is refreshing but Shah Rukh Khan's is tacky as he offers pearls of wisdom like, "Jo dil mein hain woh keh do." The music won't stay with you for longer than you exit the screen and the other technical staff doesn't produce anything worth highlighting.